Monday, November 12, 2007


When I think of Kentucky, I think of long walks on the beach with the sand between my toes, classy college basketball fans, and football wins over the Dawgs. Okay, I don't think of any of those things, which means it is time for a serious UK beatdown. We dispatched the DOTWU reconnaissance unit to gather some intelligence on the Wildcats.

H.M.S. Bubble - you don't see her, but she sees you. It's the bubble!

Unfortunately, due to a lack of submarine-navigable waters in the area around Lexington, we had to divert the recon team to a mission on behalf of DOTWU's closest blog ally. The crew is currently probing the Gulf and Atlantic Coasts, seeking a potential embarkment point for the DFF IV Maritime Alcohol Consumption Expeditionary Force (DFFIVMACEF). So, this week's report will be based on information pilfered from the internets and our own wild conjecture.

Bulldawg State of Affairs

The big question will be whether or not the Dawgs can keep up the combination of high energy and crisp execution. Some young stars like Rennie Curran and Geno Atkins are emerging on defense while the veterans like Marcus Howard and Kelin Johnson are showing that finding the endzone won't be easy for the opposition. The offensive line is playing like a solid unit. Moreno and Brown have resumed the one-two punch they gave to Ole Miss. Stafford is nailing the deep ball and the receivers are catching them.

Stafford is doing more than showcasing his arm, however. You can't help but notice how often he is changing protection schemes and plays up at the line. From

The number of decisions Stafford is making as a sophomore – whether it’s deciding between two running plays or a run play and a pass play – is higher than what either David Greene or D.J. Shockley did at Georgia, Bobo said.

On the injury front, the Dawgs took some monster hits from the highly-touted Auburn defense, but it appears everyone came out healthy. Hopefully, we'll see Quentin Banks and Tony Wilson return to action. Tripp Chandler reportedly was wearing a knee brace on Tuesday, but still participated in practice. That's good, because it will take everything the team has to overcome...

The Refs

Dawg fans were left scratching their heads at a few of the calls in the game against Auburn.

I call 'em like I see 'em

Dawgs of the World, you can now put another name next to Al Ford (Jasper Sanks'!) on your no-Christmas Card list. There is a new enemy in zebra stripes and his name is Penn Wagers. His crew also handled the Cocktail Party (ahem...the Rivalry on the River for you teetotalers) and the theory is that he was still punishing the team for The Celebration.

Coach Richt was obviously steaming mad. He expressed his feelings forcefully, and Uga finally gave the paparazzi what they deserve.

Angry, but still looking sharp in black

The upcoming game should feature a different officiating crew, so we'll cross our fingers and hope for a well-called game and a little privacy for the country's best mascot.

The Other Bad Guys

As usual, Kentucky is led by a scary quarterback. After enduring Tim Couch and J-Lo, the SEC now endures the wrath of Andre Woodson. This guy was a Heisman contender for a reason. He makes great decisions and has a surgical throwing arm. He's also got moxie and an accent in his first name that I cannot reproduce with my keyboard.

The Cats also feature a talented running back, Rafael Little, who uses no accent marks in his name. In case you are wondering how this once-top-ten team stumbled against Mississippi State, note that Little was out that week with a thigh injury. He also missed the UK-FL game, where UK dropped a close one. He returned last week against Vandy but left early due to a back injury. No word on the internets yet on whether he will play in Athens, but we will be the first to break the news once an announcement is made, guaranteed. We aren't called the "World Wide Leader in Sports" for nothing.

The man steering the ship for the Cats is Coach Rich Brooks, who also features no accents in his first name, but spells it without the "e." He is insane.

See the beady eyes?

Brooks retired after 18 years at Oregon, but came back to the game to turn around the program left ruined by NCAA rules violator Hal Mumme and ineffectual Guy Morriss.


DOTWU will be entering the 21st century with the adoption of an exciting new technology - the electric griddle. The plan is to have the breakfast enjoyed by elite atheletes before every big game - pancakes and beer. We'll meet at the Driftmeir site bright and early. Tickets on the street should be reasonable and it's the last home game of the year, so bring your spatula and a 40. By the way - thanks go out to Reich, the Old Man, and Stephen for locking down room for the tents last week. Ten minutes later and we would have been waging battle with the "Old Oak Tree Gang" or whatever those people call themselves.

P.S. - Get your bowl tickets this week.

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